"So, do you still think this was a good idea?"

As a parent, and maybe more so as the parent of a) special needs kids and b) adopted kids, you often get unsolicited input.

A few weeks ago, when someone asked me how things were going and I matter-of-factly described the near-constant challenges, he followed my comments with that question:  "So, do you still think this was a good idea?"

(Note to readers:  probably not the most constructive, uplifting thing to say to an adoptive parent in semi-crisis.  Just sayin'.)

But, the spirit in which the question was intended bears answering.

I would never, ever recommend older child adoption to anyone looking for an opportunity to be a savior, a knight in shining armor riding to the rescue.  It's too hard for such thin motivation.

I would never, ever recommend international adoption to anyone not comfortable with weeks months of culture shock and transition involving the most mundane aspects of daily life.

I would never, ever recommend any adoption to someone whose sole reason for doing so is to fill the Biblical mandate of caring for the orphan.  There are so very many ways to care for orphans besides adoption, and adoption is not the best answer for many of those.

I would recommend adoption to anyone who knows that s/he is specifically called by God to do so, and who is willing to trust completely that in the hardest, darkest of times (because they will come), He will help them to survive.  To cope.  To wait.  To hope.  And eventually, someday and by degrees, to thrive.

1. How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
   Is laid for your faith in His excellent word!
   What more can He say than to you He hath said—
   To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?
2. “Fear not, I am with thee, oh, be not dismayed,
   For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
   I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
   Upheld by My gracious, omnipotent hand.
3. “When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
   The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
   For I will be with thee thy trouble to bless,
   And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
4. “When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
   My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply;
   The flame shall not harm thee; I only design
   Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
5. “The soul that on Jesus doth lean for repose,
   I will not, I will not, desert to his foes;
   That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
   I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.”
   
   
   So, do I still think this was a good idea?  I've never lacked blessings when I've done what God has asked me to do.  And He kind of has a history of asking His people to do hard things that are worth doing.