Little (big) victories in parenting

Wow.  It's been a long time.

I just haven't had much that I wanted to say to the world - I didn't want to whine, or complain, or put something insignificant out there when so much else was going on elsewhere.

But today, today I want to smile over some parenting victories we've had in the last month or so.

First off with Anansi.  I reached a point where I got tired of being the Bad Guy for insisting on two fruits and a vegetable every day, and I told the kids that they were welcome to eat whatever they wished, whenever they wished, with the understanding that I was still only shopping once a week.  When it's gone, it's gone.  And, any gastrointestinal discomfort caused by eating too much of one thing or not enough of another would be theirs to bear without moaning to me.

I thought it was interesting that when I proposed that idea at a Sunday family meeting, three of the kids IMMEDIATELY said, "No, Mom, I don't want to do that!"  (It was the three oldest bio kids.)  The two others were All In.  GoGirl and Anansi ate bowls of powdered sugar, went days without anything even vaguely resembling a "whole" food, drank mug after mug of hot cocoa...for about three days.  At that point, Anansi started asking me, "Mom, when will we be done with this?"  Around Day 7, he asked me if we could be done.  "Don't you like being able to eat anything you want, whenever you want?  I thought that was what you wanted."  He sort of shuffled and hemmed and hawed.  "Hmmm....maybe what you're trying to say, but don't quite have the words, is that you are realizing that you don't feel very well when you don't eat things that are good for you each day, and that you're having a hard time making that choice for yourself.  And maybe you'd like me to go back to helping you make that choice?"  He nodded.  Wow!   (Yeah, that also lasted about three days before he started moaning and whining again about the fruits and vegetables, but I still take that as progress. :) )

Then with Chewy.  We'd been worried about him for awhile.  Our sweet, calm, happy-go-lucky boy had been Not So Much of those things for several months, and we weren't exactly sure why (though we had our suspicions).  Lately....he came back to us.  I think part of it is that he's been given enough room (physically and mentally) to get back to daydreaming, thinking, "having a reverie" as he calls it.  He just completed an Intro to Physics class at Coursera.org and while there were a lot of concepts that went over his head, I think it really tweaked his noodle in a good way.  He's back to reading books, spending hours putting his architectural ideas to work via Legos, and best of all, he's smiling and laughing and cheerful again.  So thankful!

Finally, our man-child SlashDot.  He has always had issues with technology consumption, and unfortunately that didn't improve with the introduction of an iPod into his life last September for his birthday.  We had been seeing more and more disrespect, less and less attention to other aspects of life (chores, people in his family, personal hygiene, and so on)...until it all boiled over last week.  I saw no other option than to restrict all use of electronics (computer, iPod, Wii) until further notice, with the opportunity of earning back one per week of respectful behavior and doing all of the kitchen chores.

You can imagine how well THAT went over.

Long story short, though, after some raging and pacing and ranting.....and calming, discussing, negotiating, and understanding, we reached a great point where he himself acknowledged he needs to decrease his daily consumption of electronic entertainment, a plan for how to do so (especially as we start shifting from an 8th grade to a 9th grade homeschool framework), and a willingness to work with a therapist or counselor to address some facets of bipolar disorder that he wasn't previously disposed to manage.  (We're also not expecting that this is the last time we'll have to have that kind of discussion or consequence, but it felt good the way it turned out this time around.)

And man, I'm tired!  *laugh*